6 posts tagged “life”
I feel like I should write on recent happenings. Or on something, anything, whatever, just an excuse to write. Tons of things here and there happening everywhere, and it's awesome. But obviously before I go any further, best of all - it's cold, it's crisp, it's December. It wins
Black Friday was epic. Ngo and a handful of the usual suspects from last year's outing were in attendance towitness the miracle of camp-out gaming... in Mike Ngo's trunk. If there was better way to spend my time sitting on my butt out in 40 degree weather all night in Sunnyvale anticipating impending doom, I sure as heck didn't spend enough time thinking of it.
As always, it was basically just for the experience and not so much for the consumer whoring. Well, ehh... mostly - I made away with a set of Logitech 5.1 THX speakers for $50 and 500 gigs worth of external HD goodness for $80 after rebates, which compared to last year, was pretty much awesometastic. And at this rate, I'll theoretically be up to 2.5 TB by the time next BF rolls around... ayaa. Somebody suggest me more useless crap to download so I don't feel guilty with hundreds of unused gigs.
Keeping on the pointless-standing-in-line tip, Anthony, his friend and I made it to Santa Ramen's grand re-opening this past Saturday. I'll tell ya, not many things in this world can get me motivated enough to wake up before the crack of noon on a Saturday, but for keeping my fandom true and business continuously contributed to my favorite restaurant, I would've given up a winning lotto ticket. Honestly dude. My loyalty runs deep.
Whilst fighting off the urge to slice the throats of all the "friends" of the first party in line cutting with them (which is more intricately documented within my Yelp review), the feeling was that of everything I was expecting it to be - the same crack-in-a-bowl deliciousness even God himself could not deny, now served within finer ambiance and a sleeker decor. Everything consumable is more or less the same, as it should be. The only changes, outside of a slight price hike, are just more kinds of sprinkles on the icing on the cake. We almost went again for dinner, hahaha.
Other than that... ehh. Not too much else interesting to dwell on, I guess. Life's been going as great as it could be. Still unrelationship'd, so nothing to report on that front. Maybe soon though. I think I'm pissing off some other people more than I am myself about not caring... yeesh.
I'm liking my new living arrangements for the most part. I'm saving a good chunk of scratch on commuting by living within walking distance of a Caltrain station and a T-line stop. Also getting more into the music producing thing, bit by bit. I think I'm almost regretting not taking the LA job opportunity, but don't let me fool you just yet ;D... I'm really just getting jealous of the LA dnb scene and not being able to brock out with Devon in it. I've got nobody here that shares the same affinity for the scene nearly as much as I do, and it being probably my most major hobby now, it's a kick in the nuts going alone to clubs in the bay to see dj's rinse out. Sigh.
Yeesh, this is getting scattered. Oh! One more thing... I might actually be moving to Tokyo sometime in the near future. I'm not letting myself get too excited or anything... but it might as well be the coolest thing ever. =D Hooray for possibly un-borifying Keina!
So life's feeling like it's set to perma-idle. Every day (though I'm not sure if I can measure my living schedule by "days;" more like the amount of time I'm awake) turns out to be exactly the same as the previous, and it just depends on how much I'm feeling like teasing the overage line on my bank account whether or not I eat. Ha. I'm decent at getting out of the house once in a while, as dawdling at bowling night proved yesterday. I somehow successfully maintained a jogging routine for a couple of weeks some time ago as well. I'd really like to pick it up again, actually, if I could tear myself away from my 360 (pathetic: yes). Most notably on that accord, it's a drag not being able to go to the gym, reasoning that I could spend my $1.50 more wisely on something other than a few mile bus ride.
I'm hoping October redeems everything horrible about August and September, thus far. I have skyrocketing hopes for the month, though I'm sure they'll run out of gas and spectacularly crash soon enough. Wait, what? Aren't I Kevin Mitchell, Mr. "Ginormo Optimistico?" ... eat it. You wouldn't have a speck of the thought had you (or any human) been close to me recently. I've got nobody, and nobody's got me. No matter how much I loathe and despise it, that's how I'm rolling nowadays.
In retrospect and all honesty, it's not too far from the truth to speculate that that's how I've felt for as long as I can really remember. The spot everyone has for that one (or few, if you're blessed) really close buddy, chum, comrade and shit-shooter has been empty for so long, the switch for the no vacancy light has been rusted over completely.
Sigh. I hate the feeling of feeling like I should elaborate. For not having a blood brother, girlfriend or other person close to me, I blame nobody for this but myself, no doubt. That whole deep interaction and sharing of thoughts/experiences can't be put to good use if you've no practice, logically. I tend to give off the completely wrong impression a lot because of it. And, I see my stubbornness come full circle now in that I realize, in all of my family, friends and countless acquaintances, I can't even find someone to even attempt to open up to. Not at all due to them being unsuited or unworthy, mind you. See, I'm so stubborn, I feel sometimes that if I don't provide some sort of entertaining comment or something of good use to another person, I'm basically a bother and waste. I won't even put the effort into striking up a conversation if I feel like I can't contribute something positive, useful or I cant impress a person through it. It's really hard to paint the scenario I'm trying to convey, but I don't think it's too hard to grasp the idea that I'm retarded.
So to sum it all up in some sort whack way, if you're my friend and I come off as or just seem obnoxiously superficial (and/or lacking talkativeness), chances are it's not due to absolutely anything you aren't doing to get me to interact more -- I'm just a moronically stubborn introvert. And I need to fix it.
End random thought. Change needed. Vox is always so intuitive at bringing out the useless in me.
What a freakin' night.
I find myself awoken a third time by the weather tonight, as the 50 mph gusts don't seem to want to let up. I'm not even sure if I should sift back over to the couch to try for another wink or not... all of this creaky foundation business and constant branch snapping coming from the backyard... risky business. like, you can't even give me even a half hour of sleep normally otherwise, that you have to throw torrential weather on top of it? Give me a break for once... just once! I long to know what a decent night's sleep even remotely feels like anymore...
I'm baffled that the power isn't out, truthfully.
Ooo, e-coupon for quizno's on gmail alert... but wait. y'know, you'd think their e-marketing department would take the extra step to try and send these image-laden emails (with giant pictures of prime-rib sandwiches and whatnot), at a more decisive hour than 4 am. Say, maybe, 11:00-11:30ish am, when most of the cubicle-stricken work force is just starting to contemplate what to do for lunch. That strategically timed email could be the deciding factor of where these hungry hobnobs go and chow-down at lunch: on a delicious prime-rib sandwich at quizno's.
Too bad quizno's is way over-priced, and... generally all-around terrible. But I digress; I shouldn't be getting newsletter emails for food at 4 in the got dang morning. Screws to yous, quizno's.
gusts still a gustin'...
my, this week's a busy one. I usually struggle to find something to keep myself occupied with after work, but just usually end up taking a dull nap... though I'm not sure I'll even be able to get everything I need want to do done. how's that for retarded? cheese... must attend various birthday dinners/outings, get more eternals on elebits, figure out what to spin at gary's nye party, keep a steady pace on learning piano chords, and ATTEMPT to finish up at least one of these song ideas I've gotten started. gyah! still need to figure out who to give the extra incubus ticket to!
haha, oh boy. I think this is one of those times where I feel if I ramble any longer, I'll probably forget to bite my tongue and just end up unintentionally pissing someone off. like... myself, when I read this entry tomorrow not and not remember any of it.
mm. haven't heard a gust in a while. should try and sift back into dreaming...
I can't believe it... I'm actually... jittery. nervous, almost.
today could be kind of cool.
*crosses fingers*
Details futile.
(partially inspired by Mavis' recent post)
The day could've gone... much worse, but something's screaming at me that my brain probably wouldn't have held up in one piece if it had. Heart didn't fare so well, tho.
I'm profusely looking forward to tomorrow morning. Thoughts of a new day shed a sense of calm over my severed distraught freakin' omnipotent conscience. Fwuh.
... I think I have a horrible case of depressive paralysis. The barrage of knuckleballs thrown from today's retardocity couldn't even keep me down for more than half an hour.
...
I seriously don't believe that to be a good thing. Unhealthy seems to be the more desirable term, actually.
OH! and HOORJ for only 60ish more hours until the first revolution of the 21st century is unleashed upon the free world... I need to think about what to do with my Mii. :X
Oh Flickr, how I have neglected thee... I haven't logged onto you in nearly 3 months, for whatever the reason may be. No photos of grand affaire to present to the world, as if any person should care to view them anyhow. But how quickly reminded I was of the reasons for forsaking you... ;(
Anyways, I'm going to go continue to shoot myself in every conceivable part of my body for letting Monster Massive go by this weekend; without a plan for travel or lodging, it seems nigh impossible to witness the near-perfect line-up of any event thus far this year in all of California, and quite possible the whole nation: Armin van Buuren, Paul van Dyk, Markus Schulz, Subfocus, Klute, Chase & Status, Verse, Fischerspooner, and others... all in one event. As BPM Magazine puts it -
"One of the biggest one-off electronic music events in US history...pure haunted debauchery."
It boggles my mind to even fathom that I'll be missing this. I owe a huge apology to Devon, that's for sure. I know he was somewhat looking forward to hanging out as much as I was. But forth the situation moves, like all others too often these days, where it just seems like the situation I've put myself in here, alone, detriments my very way of socializing and having fun. I have next to no friends that truly share my passion for good electronic music (absolutely none up in norcal, furthermore), and it's really starting to become increasingly more... just freakin annoying, more than anything. Not having a car to travel to things like this, in my own personal opinion, is no more than 10% of the problem... it's more that I wouldn't dare want to travel alone to any sort of live event like this, but I'll be hogwashed to find someone who'd really want to go down and enjoy the show. Sharing experiences outshines nearly any situation one can experience alone. It's just freakin cool to hang with and relate to a friend about stuff like that too, y'know?
Anywho... I dunno why I'm rambling. I've always been, and still am, in love with the bay area, but I feel less and less each day that there's anything left for me here. Every corner I turn, just seems to wrench my heart more swiftly in another direction. I know I've talked about moving and maybe studying abroad and such before... and while that's still not too far-fetched, a more realistic situation has presented itself that I feel tempted to run after Pursuing an audio engineering degree at CSULB, after finishing my general ed up here at somewhere cheap (CCSF, most likely), then just transfer down south when ready. By then, I've got no clue as to what my job situation will be like, but Konami has an office in El Segundo which could prove to be useful, should I continue my career path there any further. And just as much now as I've felt in the past when reflecting upon the subject, I really wouldn't mind a change of scenery, nor a new... beginning. Y'know, the usual 'something new' syndrome; something to start from scratch and build upon, rather than just watching it tumble further down everytime I try to build higher. Something I'm sure I've explained more clearly in the past somewhere.
Patience and faith, patience and faith... no matter how many times I've told myself, just need to keep patience and faith...
